The Difference Between a Leader and a Ruler – Leading with Grace, Not with Fear

Pr Enos Mwakalindile
Sep 8
4 min read

“But you are not to be like that. Instead, the greatest among you should be like the youngest, and the one who rules like the one who serves.” (Luke 22:26)

Shepherd with stick tending flock of sheep in lush green field, under a cloudy sky, with distant trees and wind turbines on the horizon. — A true shepherd guides with care, not fear.

🌱 Introduction

What happens when leadership turns into a tool of fear instead of a bridge of grace?

In the history of the Bible we witness a great contrast: Moses, humbling himself before God, leading with prayers and tears (Ex. 32:32); and Pharaoh, using fear and military power to oppress God’s people (Ex. 5:6–9).

In the history of the world, we see the example of Nelson Mandela who forgave his oppressors and led his nation with a vision of reconciliation, unlike tyrants who ruled with fear and bloodshed. Jesus completely transformed the vision of leadership by saying, “the greatest among you must be a servant.” This lesson invites us to examine our hearts: do we lead with grace, or do we rule with fear?

Expected Outcomes:

To recognize the evangelical difference between a leader and a ruler.
For leaders to examine themselves: do they live as servants or rule by fear?
To pursue building ministries that glorify Christ and uplift others.

📖 Scriptural Foundations and Spiritual Insights

1. A Leader Builds Others, a Ruler Builds Himself

Ephesians 4:12

“...to equip his people for works of service...”

Leadership in the body of Christ is like a craftsman improving the houses of others, not a tower of his own pride. Moses humbled himself, interceding for Israel (Num. 14:13–19). A true leader uses his position to nurture others’ gifts, knowing Christ is the only foundation (1 Cor. 3:11). History gives us William Wilberforce, who fought to abolish slavery so others could live free, unlike rulers who used slavery for their own gain.

2. A Leader Shares, a Ruler Controls

2 Timothy 2:2

“And the things you have heard me say... entrust to reliable people...”

Jesus built His ministry by sharing, calling His disciples to share the burden (Mark 6:7). Paul also appointed Timothy and Titus as his ambassadors. A leader shares responsibility like planting many seeds in a field, but a ruler clings to power, seeing others as rivals rather than partners. History teaches us through John Wesley, who empowered many lay preachers to spread the gospel, instead of hoarding authority like the religious rulers of his age.

3. A Leader Says “We,” a Ruler Says “I”

1 Corinthians 3:9

“For we are co-workers in God’s service...”

Paul never claimed the ministry as his own; he saw all as co-workers. Jesus told His disciples, “you are the salt of the earth” (Matt. 5:13). A ruler builds the language of “I,” but a leader sees the strength of “we”—one body under Christ (Rom. 12:4–5). In history, Martin Luther King Jr. led the civil rights movement by saying “We shall overcome,” sparking unity, unlike rulers who said “I will reign.”

4. A Leader Inspires with Vision, a Ruler Manipulates with Fear

Nehemiah 2:17–18

“This is my vision... let us rebuild together.”

Nehemiah did not stir fear but ignited hope for restoration. Jesus also called people into a kingdom of love and justice (Luke 4:18–19). A ruler drives with threats, but a leader shows the way of hope—lighting God’s flame in the darkness. Church history gives us William Carey, who stirred a vision for world missions, unlike colonial rulers who spread power through fear.

5. A Leader is an Example to Follow, a Ruler is a Command to Obey

1 Peter 5:2–3

“...not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock.”

Jesus taught His disciples through the act of washing their feet (John 13:14–15). Paul told the Corinthians, “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ” (1 Cor. 11:1). A leader says, “Walk with me on this path,” but a ruler stands far off giving commands without love. History gives us Francis of Assisi, who lived in humility as Christ’s example, unlike religious rulers who demanded honor without humility.

🛐 Life Application

Pray: Lord, make me a leader of grace, remove from me the spirit of ruling by fear.
Read: Luke 22:24–27 – Christ’s teaching on servant leadership.
Share: Reflect on your traits—are they built on collaboration or on fearful authority?
Act: Build a ministry team that includes everyone, valuing each spiritual gift.

🤔 Reflection Questions

Does my leadership build others or build my own name?
How often do I say “we” instead of “I”?
When people look at me, do they see a living example or cold commands?
Do my visions spark hope like Nehemiah or spread fear?
Am I building a ministry of fellowship or a kingdom of one man?

🙌 Final Blessing

May the Lord make you a leader of grace, not a ruler of fear. May He give you strength to awaken hope, not dread. And may Christ, the Great Servant, be your example always.